Now apologise for America, Britain told

Thu Apr 7 16:13:42 UTC 2011

As an American who has served in the US armed forces (US Navy, 8 years), I
would just like to say to you and all the other people in England who feel
as you do, Eat Shit, limey. Were it not for us, you’d be goose-stepping down
the streets of London and speaking German right now. Assuming any of you had
been left alive by the Germans, of course. Do not forget why there are two
stars on the back of every enlisted man’s dress blue uniform in the United
States Navy – one for each time we have kicked your ass, soundly and
completely.

-- 
W. Scott Lockwood III 

From: sounder-bounces at lists.ubuntu.com
[mailto:sounder-bounces at lists.ubuntu.com] On Behalf Of Nathan Bahn
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2011 9:03 AM
To: Sounder Elist
Subject: Re: Now apologise for America, Britain told

On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 8:36 AM, Basil Chupin <blchupin at iinet.net.au> wrote:

IF Britain is in the mood for apologising for things it should really add
America to its list, it was claimed last night.

As David Cameron told Pakistan that its current balls-out craziness was
actually the fault of the British empire, experts pointed to the giant,
stupid, disgusting country founded by some people from East Anglia.

Julian Cook, author of America: What the Fuck Were We Thinking?, said: "When
Harwich-born Christopher Jones captained the Mayflower in 1620 he began a
process that would lead ultimately to genocide, the Ku Klux Klan and Grey's
Anatomy.

"Thanks to him and his insane passengers, the way was paved for a nation of
heavily armed toddlers led around by an ever-changing roll-call of religious
maniacs, grubby conmen and dead-eyed celebrities.

"It doesn't understand anything more than 15 minutes old - except
creationism - and is littered with strip malls and heavily branded cheese
pumps.

"We have engineered a massive, unstoppable Essex. We should all be in jail."

Cook conceded that other European countries would have taken Britain's
place, but stressed: "Then we might have had a massive, unstoppable
Dordogne. And that sounds brilliant."

Historian, Roy Hobbs, added: "And let's not forget that in the 19th century
we made it even worse by ensuring its eastern seaboard was flooded with
drunken, Irish gangsters whose chippy, lachrymose descendants would end up
buying millions of U2 albums.

"So as well as Pakistan and America, we created Bono. And how do you even
begin to apologise for Bono?"

Meanwhile, Cameron's apology has been questioned by experts who stressed
that the £650m in educational aid to Pakistan is being used to counter the
sort of peevish, blood thirsty Islam that existed before the British empire
was even a shitty little twinkle in a Plantagenet eye.

Bill McKay, professor of tiffin at Reading University, said: "If it wasn't
for a smattering of slightly giddy, gin-hammering colonists and jolly, Simon
Callow-style vicars it could actually have been much, much worse."

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content
<http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=369
3&Itemid=89&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+theda
ilymash+%28The+Daily+Mash.+It%27s+news+to+us.%29>
&task=view&id=3693&Itemid=89&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campa
ign=Feed%3A+thedailymash+%28The+Daily+Mash.+It%27s+news+to+us.%29

B.C.--

I realize that the article is tongue-in-cheek; however, I must say that the
U.S. (and in particular, its power elite) owes the world not just apologies,
but reparations as well!  Truly, the U.S. is an empire in all but name!  But
don't take my word for it:  Read both 

*	Confessions of an Economic Hit Man (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler,
2004); and
*	The Secret History of the American Empire (New York: Dutton /
Penguin Group, 2007) 

by John Perkins.

My 2¢, anyway.

--N.B.
-- 
Please avoid sending me Word or PowerPoint attachments.
See http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/no-word-attachments.html &
http://www.libreoffice.org/ (Nathan Bahn)

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