Microsoft Offers Students Cut-Price Infuriating Crap ('story' 1st published 18-09-09)

[Liam Proven]

On 10 March 2011 03:50, Basil Chupin <blchupin at iinet.net.au> wrote:
> STUDENTS can have Windows 7 irritate the shit out of them for a reduced fee
> of £30, Microsoft has announced.
>
> The offer is a massive reduction on the standard £80 price tag, but with the
> same range of state-of-the-art features specifically designed to send you
> hurtling towards the very brink of violent insanity.
>
> The company said the operating system will be ready to download from 22
> October and after clicking through all the user agreements and restarting
> your system 85 times it should be ready to install unsuccessfully by
> Christmas.
>
> A Microsoft spokesman said: "This is a great opportunity for young people to
> claw at their skulls and scream 'no, no, no, I do not want to load any more
> f*****g updates, you utterly horrifying box full of evil' while trying to
> arrange cups of coffees and study sessions with their new college pals."
>
> The company insisted the offer was a 'helping hand to our next generation of
> leaders in tough economic times' while industry analysts said it was
> obviously nothing more than Microsoft's last, desperate attempt to stop
> Google from culling it like a fattened pig.
>
> Windows 7 has been introduced after Microsoft admitted its Vista operating
> system was a 'less good product' in what IT experts have described as the
> most ambitious understatement since the captain of the Titanic reported some
> slightly damp tablecloths.
>
> IT consultant, Charlie Reeves, added: "Vista was 'less good' in the same way
> being tortured for three months in Abu Ghraib is 'less good' than a Belgian
> three-way with Scarlett Johansson and Lindsay Lohan."
>
> Meanwhile first year student Nathan Muir said: "My degree involves desktop
> publishing, spreadsheets and multimedia presentations, so I'm really looking
> forward to a hopeless series of meaningless error messages before crying
> myself to sleep every night."
>
> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/microsoft-offers-students-cut%11price-infuriating-crap-200909182075/

I recall that Kurt Cobain said once that he *knew* he'd arrived when
Weird Al Yankovitch parodied him.

It's hardly in the same league, but a proud, happy moment for me &
Simplicity Computers was when the Daily Mash took the piss out of us.
;¬)

I do have to ask, though... what's a Belgian three-way? I mean, I've
done a few threesomes, but I've never knowingly had a Belgian one.
What's involved? Waffles? Craft beer? Both?

-- 
Liam Proven • Info & profile: http://www.google.com/profiles/lproven
Email: lproven at cix.co.uk • GMail/GoogleTalk/Orkut: lproven at gmail.com
Tel: +44 20-8685-0498 • Cell: +44 7939-087884 • Fax: + 44 870-9151419
AIM/Yahoo/Skype: liamproven • MSN: lproven at hotmail.com • ICQ: 73187508