Request for proofreading of release announcement mail

[Steve Langasek]

Hi Kyle,

On Wed, Oct 17, 2007 at 10:08:49AM -0400, Kyle Nitzsche wrote:

> That the distribution is free and open source isn't mentioned, and perhaps 
> a bit of verbiage to emphasize that this isn't bleeding edge/untested stuff 
> but is a complete solution would be nice.

> A few minor notes regarding the second paragraph:
> --I'm not sure what a "tight selection" of applications means
> --"with".. applications .. "included" seems a tad redundant
> --"incredible variety" seems a little pat

> So I propose a  slight rewording.

> Current second paragraph:
> "
> Ubuntu is a Linux distribution for your desktop or server, with a fast
> and easy install, regular releases, a tight selection of excellent
> applications included, and an incredible variety of add-on software
> available with a few clicks.
> "
> Proposed second paragraph:
> "
> Ubuntu is a free, full-featured Linux distribution for desktops and servers 
> that's been widely used in homes and businesses for years. It's quick and 
> easy to install and has regular updates. Ubuntu comes with a wide range of 
> top quality applications, with thousands more just a few clicks away. 
> Everything is open source and free and will remain that way.
> "

I would shy away from referring to it as "free" here; while I think we can
all agree that this is a true statement, I think that because restricted is
integrated by default, saying so in this manner will unnecessarily expose us
to criticism from some quarters of being deliberately disingenuous.  The
freeness of Ubuntu is already covered less ambiguously in the press releases
linked from this announcement, and people subscribed to ubuntu-announce
presumably already have some idea what Ubuntu is, so I would prefer to leave
that point as-is for the present.

As far as patness goes, I'm not sure that "widely used" is any less pat than
"incredible variety". :)  And as the existing patness has probably had a few
more marketing eyes on it (having been used in past release announcements),
I would rather not change it at the last minute without more support.

How about this?

  Ubuntu is a full-featured Linux distribution for desktops and servers,
  with a fast and easy install and regular releases.  A tightly-integrated
  selection of excellent applications is included, and an incredible variety
  of additional software is just a few clicks away.