Apple to copyright individual letters

[Michael Haney]

On Wed, Mar 23, 2011 at 9:50 PM, Basil Chupin <blchupin at iinet.net.au> wrote:
> STEVE Jobs has announced his intention to trademark the alphabet.
>
> At a state of the art press conference, the overpriced geegaw
> obergruppenfuhrer pledged to start with the letter 'a' and hopes to have all
> the vowels protected by 2015.
>
> Once all the letters of the alphabet have been secured the company will then
> move on to punctuation and eventually gain control of all numerals between 0
> and 9 and any others that you may be hiding somewhere.
>
> Jobs said: "I© lo©o©k fo©rwa©rd to© the© da©y a©ll se©nte©nce©s lo©o©k
> li©ke© thi©s.
>
> "The day we copyright the copyright sign is going to be an interesting one
> and may give us a glimpse into what infinity looks like. Wow."
>
> Before moving onto vowels, Apple's first legal battle will be against the
> unknown composer of the 8th century poem Beowulf in a test case to prove the
> company has intellectual property rights over the letter 'f', most commonly
> used in the familiar Apple phrases 'F*** me, have you seen the price of this
> f***er?' and 'F***ing useless f***ing iPhone fiddly f***ing thing'.
>
> Copyright expert Wayne Hayes said: "Because the composer of Beowulf is
> unknown and it is thus ascribed as a folk poem, the entire English-speaking
> world is jointly and equally the subject of the lawsuit.
>
> "If successful, the company will be able to file for damages against about
> 440 million people and if anybody tells Apple to 'f*** off' they will be
> liable for three times the damages."
>
> Jobs confirmed that service of the court papers will be completed via page
> 28 of the new iTunes user agreement update later today and has advised
> people to start learning Welsh in preparation for a vowel-free existence.
>
>
> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-%26-technology/apple-to-copyright-individual-letters-201103233655/
>

LMAO!!!  So the UK has its own version of The Onion!  LOL

-- 
Michael "TheZorch" Haney
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